We are thrilled to share that we are adopting!
Before we were even married we talked a lot about what building our family would look like and as we thought about our future children, adoption was a part of the dream we held close to our hearts. We didn't know much about the practical steps toward adopting, so we slowly began to learn more and kept praying.
The more we prayed and learned the more convinced we became that adoption was for us. We sensed a deep assurance that we not only wanted to become parents, but that we wanted to grow our family through adoption. We want to be used in whatever way God sees fit in the life of an expectant mother/family, we want to be of service to the adoption community, we want our hearts to be shaped by God (who adopted us into His family) and, of course, we want to welcome a new, precious life into our home.
We are in the midst of the joyful blurr of officially stepping into adoption and are doing everything we can to be prepared for all that is to come on this journey. As part of our adoption process, we have started a crowdfunding campaign. One significant surprise we encountered regarding finances is that adoption related costs can easily total up to $40,000 or more. This is why we have set a goal of $30,000 to help ease the financial burden that often overwhelms adoptive parents. In the US, 33% of couples consider adoption; however, 79% of the families are deterred by the high costs, and in the end only 2% adopt.
Our prayer is that by inviting you into this process, through prayer and/or a financial gift (both are deeply valuable to us!), you will experience the joy of being a part of the ministry and miracle of adoption. Our deepest desire is that you will be a part of the community that our child grows up loving (and being loved by), learning from, and making lifelong memories with. You mean so much to us and we are so thankful for your support.
UPDATE: We have increased our goal to $60,000 since our first match did not result in a successful placement. We are open to re-matching and are crowdfunding for the new match fees - thank you!
We never thought we'd be typing a title like the one in this update so soon, yet here we are - and we are beyond grateful to God!
As we previously shared, after our match disruption in September we decided to continue moving forward to rematch with a new mom/family as we sensed God encouraging us to continue on the adoption journey. We spent the last 2 months since our disruption applying for grants (to help us financially recover from the money invested in our previous match) and reviewing cases of expectant moms who were considering an adoption plan for their child that our agency was sending us.
A few cases piqued our interest, but none felt right... until a case that came into our inbox on Friday, September 30th. We spent the entire weekend wondering and praying about this case (this baby was due on October 31). We emailed our case manager and our consultant asking to speak with them first thing Monday to get their thoughts and insights regarding this case. Truthfully, we were afraid. Afraid to put ourselves in a financial situation that we might not recover from (every match has financial risk), afraid of missing out, afraid of emotionally putting ourselves out there again so soon after our disruption. Would we be able to endure another failed match? We weren't sure.
Our conversations with our case manager and consultant didn't give us any definite answers either - they were also concerned for us, not wanting to put us in any situation where we might face hurt and loss again so soon. Bless their hearts, these women (who have become dear friends to us) sat with us for hours that week - processing, discerning, praying, doing risk assessment... we desperately wanted to know if this case was one God wanted us to say yes to, but we just didn't know.
We felt anxious all week, losing sleep over this case, but because there were a few factors where "only time could tell", we weren't confident in saying yes... so we sadly decided not to present our profile book to this mom.
A few weeks passed and on Monday, October 24 we got a text from our case manager that essentially said, "I know this particular case grabbed your heart, we still haven't presented profile books to this mom, she asked for a pause in the process and is now ready to look at books - would you like us to include your book?" We immediately hopped on the phone with our case manager. Many of the issues where "only time could tell" were slowly being resolved by this extra 2 weeks given to us when this mom put a short pause on her process. Edgar and I looked at each other and didn't hesitate: yes. That night we wrote this mom a personal letter to be included with our profile book and then we waited to find out if she chose us. We continued with business as usual since adoption has taught us that you've just got to live your normal life in the midst of all the uncertainty that the adoption process can bring.
A few days later, on October 27, our case manager called to tell us we had been chosen! We experienced a mix of fear and gratitude - could this really be happening?! Will this ACTUALLY happen? The following week was the longest week of our lives as we held our breath waiting for this sweet baby to be born.
Well, on November 5th, our son was born; just 9 days after finding out his strong and brave birth mom chose us to be his parents. It really happened, he is our son!
We still have several steps and a process to go through to finalize his adoption, but at this moment, he is ours, and we love him deeply! He is peace embodied, loves to be cuddled, and has already filled our lives with such joy, by simply existing.
Pablo Alejandro Sanchez
Pablo is Paul in Spanish. Alejandro is in honor of Edgar's dad who passed away over a decade ago. His name means humble helper and defender of mankind.
Sweet friends and family who have supported us, prayed prayers of faith, and given generously to our adoption journey - THANK YOU! When we look back at the last (almost) 2 years of this journey your faces appear. There have been MANY times when we have said, "how do people become parents without a massive village of loving people cheering them on?!" You have been that village for us and we thank God for each of you!
We can't wait for Pablo to hear each of your names mentioned when we tell him all about how God used the love and prayers of so many people to lead us to each other.
We love you!
Friends and family, we want to begin this update with a massive THANK YOU for your love and support as we've walked down the path toward adoption this past year and a half.
As you know, back in April, we were matched with an incredible mom whose baby was due in September. We spent the last 5 months building a relationship with her. Through phone calls, letters, care packages, and visits, we grew to care deeply for her and her baby. As each month passed, our affection and compassion for this family grew, we thought about the future and how we wanted to be in their lives forever. Yet, in the depth of our hearts, it felt as though God was asking us to open our hands more fully and offer this mom and baby up to Him, totally surrendered to whatever God had in store for their future, and ours. It felt as though God was gently prying our hands open, releasing our vision for the future, so that we could embrace the story He was (and is) writing. Last week, when her baby was born, this dear mom felt empowered to parent her child. This was the end of our journey with her and her child. It was bittersweet. Bitter because our hearts were fully prepared to parent this baby, sweet because she felt she was able to parent her little one (this is a good thing!) In the last week, God, in his kindness, has given us the ability to receive this as His perfect plan for this family and for us.
The truth is, this baby was never "ours", this baby was hers and we were simply making ourselves available to parent this little one if she determined she would not be able to parent her child. This is what the ministry of adoption has become to us: walking alongside a woman in a vulnerable season, making ourselves available to love and support her and her child, and ultimately being open to parenting her baby if she decides that is what is best. This journey has shown us that we want to live with open hands and open hearts, no matter the cost.
We firmly believe that God makes no mistakes, that He brought us into this family's life and them into ours for a reason, that God wastes nothing, and that we are living God's "Plan A" for our lives - this was meant to be a part of our story toward adoption. God is faithful and He knows what he is doing. We trust Him because He has shown us over and over again that He is trustworthy!
So, what's next? We continue moving forward on our path toward adoption. We are open to matching with an expecting mom again.
Because part of the ministry of adoption includes investing funds toward the medical and living expenses of vulnerable moms, we will also be applying for new, additional grants and beginning to crowdfund again for a re-match. Because of your generosity we were able to support a precious mom during a truly intense time in her life - THANK YOU for being a part of that. This is one of the unique parts of adoption, when a match doesn't go through to completion/placement, the funds invested cannot be retrieved, as they have been used to care for mom and baby. Truthfully, it can feel daunting to begin this part of the process again (raising support), but we trust that if it is in God's heart to have us adopt, He will make a way and provide (as he has so many times).
Thank you for your ongoing support, we are continuously blown away by the way you have loved and supported us on this journey. We covet your prayers as we keep saying "yes" to God.
Edgar and Jessica